Natural Fit
Natural evolution isn't about striving. It's about finding your fit. Find out how society's push for self-improvement clashes with nature's flow.
I like to try to remember that the adaptability apparent in evolution isn’t a conscious thing. It just happens. It’s not some grand design or some strategic plan meticulously crafted over millennia. It’s not a goal-oriented process. The finches didn’t wake up one morning, stretch their wings, and group-think “Oh gosh, those food bits taste nice but they’re sooo hard to get at; we need to develop, design and create a new kind of beak shape.” There wasn't some avian committee meeting, was there?
And there certainly wasn’t one visionary finch who chose to brake all the rules and bravely risked modifying their own beak to prove their brilliant idea, before all the other finches understood and followed suit. (Though this is perhaps closer to reality.)
No, it’s just that the finches who happened, by pure chance, to have the right beak shape – the shape that was best suited to the available food source – survived, and the ones who didn’t have the right beak shape either moved on to find easier pickings or, quite simply, didn’t survive. It’s a simple, humbling truth of nature. It’s not about striving; it’s about fitting. And just as the finches didn’t force their beaks to change, we shouldn’t force ourselves to fit where we do not.
Darwin's theory of natural selection emphasises that variations arise randomly, and those best suited to the environment are more likely to survive and reproduce. "Natural selection is daily and hourly scrutinising, throughout the world, every variation, even the slightest; rejecting that which is bad, preserving and adding up all that is good; silently and insensibly working, whenever and wherever opportunity offers, at the improvement of each organic being in relation to its organic and inorganic conditions of life." (On the Origin of Species, 1859, Chapter IV, p. 84 in the first edition)
And when I remember that, I like to realise how it represents quite a different perspective on evolution, progress and change from the driven and active forms we face nowadays. So this post is going to explore how some of our societal obsessions with self-improvement often clash with this effortless, organic and natural form of evolution.
We’re often told to strive, to improve, to set goals and achieve them, to be better, faster, stronger, more efficient, more productive. We’re pushed to constantly develop, to grow, to change ourselves to meet external demands. To intentionally get out of our comfort zones.
The suggestion being that if we don’t do something about it, if we don’t force it, then we will never learn.
But natural, healthy evolution, true progress, or organic change is never a conscious thing with intent and goals. Natural development, like the adaptability of evolution, just happens as it happens. It makes the best of every moment, every time, so that every moment is the best it can be. It’s an ongoing, effortless unfolding. And that’s it. Nothing more.
In Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert M. Pirsig uses the metaphor of mountain climbing to illustrate how true progress unfolds organically and without forced intent or future-oriented goals, aligning with an effortless equilibrium driven by one's natural state. "Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you're no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn't just a means to an end but a unique event in itself....To live only for some future goal is shallow. It’s the sides of the mountains which sustain life, not the top." (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, 1974, Chapter 17).
It’s more about opportunism, about seizing what is naturally available and aligning with it, than about driving or competing to force a particular outcome. In nature, there’s no inherent expectation for you to develop, grow, or change yourself to survive. Just the freedom for you to find where you fit best, where you naturally resonate, and the chance to humbly accept where you don’t fit, without judgment or perceived failure.
And all of this helps me know that natural things absolutely never ever ever force themselves to fit where they don’t naturally and easily fit. A river doesn't force its way through a mountain; it flows around it, finding the path of least resistance. And so I choose to try to be natural.
The Taoist philosophy advocates for Wu Wei, effortless action or non-action, where one acts in harmony with the natural flow of the universe. "The softest thing in the world overcomes the hardest thing in the world." (Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu, Chapter 43).
But then you look at how we live. And it’s a stark contrast to this natural flow.
If we openly and consistently showed that all other ways of life – the alternative paths, the unconventional choices, the myriad ways of existing – are just as available (whether as easy or as difficult) as the mainstream path, and made those paths clear and obvious to follow towards every potential way of being, even helping people reach the ways of being we might not agree with or even understand, but supporting them simply because it is what they wanted… how many of us would honestly remain in the roles and systems we occupy now? Would you?
The rise of digital nomadism and remote work has opened up alternative lifestyles for many, demonstrating a shift away from traditional office- or location-bound careers. "Let loose by the shift to remote work during the pandemic, the digital nomad lifestyle entered the mainstream in the post-pandemic era, with about 11% of U.S. workers in 2023 describing themselves as digital nomads." (State of Independence in America, MBO Partners, 2023).
It’s worth noting that some people thrive in structured, goal-driven systems, finding them energising and aligned with their natural inclinations. For them, the discipline of setting and achieving goals feels like a perfect fit. Yet, for others, this relentless push can feel stifling, like forcing a square peg into a round hole. The key is that the ‘natural fit’ varies—what feels organic and effortless for one person might be constraining for another.
So you might be one of those who would stay in this system; who likes it. I wouldn’t and I don’t.
Wither way, if you are able to, please imagine you are not happy with the path you are on (if you’re lucky enough to be on a path that fits perfectly, please just imagine you’re not). If, while living within a situation you dislike, you were offered a genuinely easy choice, a clear, well-supported way to live differently, to follow your own path, to fit where you fit best (knowing that every path demands as much real work and dedication as any other, because no life is truly easy, only different, each with its own challenges and rewards) would you really work on yourself just to stay in your current position within this system? Or would you, feeling genuinely free, go and try something else?
At the moment, many people find that other ways of life are not as accessible or obvious or visible to them. They’re hidden, obscured, or actively discouraged. And so, facing this perceived lack of viable alternatives, they instead choose to accept the idea of internal self-work in order to press themselves into an existence within the mainstream society. They try to mould themselves, to adapt their inner landscape to fit an external structure that often feels deeply uncomfortable. This mirrors the unnatural forcing we see when we try to make something fit where it doesn't naturally belong, rather than allowing it to evolve or find its true place. And it is not natural.
The concept of 'cultural hegemony' by Antonio Gramsci explains how dominant societal norms become internalised, making alternative ways of thinking and living seem less viable or even unthinkable. "The supremacy of a social group manifests itself in two ways: as 'domination' and as 'intellectual and moral leadership.'" ... "Hegemony is the consent given by the subordinate classes to the rule of the dominant class; it is the spontaneous consent which is the result of the complex of the political and civil ‘educational’ activities of the dominant group." (Selections from the Prison Notebooks, Antonio Gramsci, 1971, Hoare & Nowell Smith, trans.)
In fact, this kind of situation can lead to a form of internal struggle, a constant battle to conform to something that fundamentally doesn't feel right, rather than exploring what truly resonates with your natural inclinations.
The choices we seem to have are;
join in, or,
if you don’t enjoy joining in, work on yourself so that you don’t mind joining in, or,
by all means go do any of these other things that are hard to discover and which we won’t support you in doing.
It’s a pretty limited menu, isn’t it? A menu designed to keep you on a very specific, narrow path towards a predetermined goal. Not allowing you to flow to where you naturally come to rest.
But could we make all the other options more obvious and accessible do you think? And could all the other options be as supported as the mainstream and the ‘work on yourself to fit in’ options are?
Imagine a friend of yours gave you the options of joining in with how they lived, or (if you didn’t like the way they lived – it made you feel deeply uncomfortable for instance) you could work on yourself so you accepted being constrained and upset by the way your friend lived, or you could disappear and do your own thing (that you love, that makes you feel alive) but without your mate’s presence or support… how would you feel about your available choices? And would that be a friend you’d keep? It sounds like a pretty abusive friendship, doesn't it?
Wouldn’t it be better if we just helped each other achieve whatever each other wants, truly and unconditionally?
Love is natural. Love loves what love finds as it is when love finds it. Love does not desire or ask for change. Love just loves. And if change happens, Love loves whatever new arises too. Because Love loves and asks for nothing. Love is simple. But is how we live this simple too? Is how we live, collectively, based on Love? Or something far more complicated and far less kind?
Think of communities living off-grid, or families embracing alternative education models like unschooling. These are real-world examples of people finding their natural fit outside mainstream societal expectations, demonstrating that other paths are not only possible but thriving. To move towards this freedom, we can start by questioning the 'shoulds' in our own lives, exploring what truly resonates with us, and supporting those who choose unconventional paths.
The growing unschooling movement, where children learn through their natural curiosities rather than a fixed curriculum, is an example of embracing natural fit in education. "The home-schooling movement has quietly grown to a size where one and half million young people are being educated entirely by their own parents; last month the education press reported the amazing news that, in their ability to think, children schooled at home seem to be five or even ten years ahead of their formally trained peers." (Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling, John Taylor Gatto, 1992); "Unschooling allows children to follow their own interests and learn at their own pace, fostering a love of learning that is often stifled in traditional schooling environments." (The Unschooler Experiment, Peter Kowalke, 2010–2013); "Unschooling is essentially a curiosity-led approach to learning devoid of testing and predefined curricula." (Unschooled: Raising Curious, Well-Educated Children Outside the Conventional Classroom, Kerry McDonald, 2025).
The world is growing more and more open to these ideas. We have a real chance now to explore what resonates with us individually, and, perhaps more importantly, to help our children know these opportunities, these chances, are all open to them. Whether it’s a new hobby, an unconventional career, or a community that feels like home. We now have the capability and knowledge to support others in finding their fit, without judgment or direction.
We can share our thoughts, connect with those who inspire us, and take easy steps toward a life that flows effortlessly, like a river finding its way.
We can realise that true progress, like evolution, happens naturally when we align with our environment rather than force ourselves to fit into something unnatural.
What’s one change you’ll explore today? What’s one “should” in your life that feels forced, and what small step could you take to explore a more natural fit?